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Sigh.

18 Sep

 

Yet another cool thing to do with our chalkboard wall. My little sweetie went off to preschool today. She wouldn’t have even remembered to say goodbye if her teacher hadn’t reminded her. On her end the day was a success. I showed up 5 minutes late to pick her up and she was already asleep on her nap mat.

For my part, I sort of milled around the living room for 5 hours, wondering what to do with myself in her absence. It was so quiet. And Bode was so…needy. He missed her terribly, and I was made very aware of how much she entertains him during the day. Nonetheless, we’ll find our mode.

Travel Tips, Part 1

1 May

Lots of my friends are posting their travel tips so I thought I’d throw my iron in the fire. We travel several times a year with both kids and I have done a solo trip with both kids when Bode was around 5 months old and Dagny was 23 months. So.

To start off I thought I’d post a checklist of things to do before you leave the house for an extended period, i.e. more than a couple of days.

1. Take out the trash. All of it. Diaper pail too if you have one.

2. Run the dishwasher, empty it if you have time.

3. Unplug your video monitors and stuff like electric blankets, space heaters, etc.

4. Check your oven. It sounds weird but I just came home to a week old pan of sweet potato fries in my oven.

5. Check your washing machine. Wet clothes do not ripen well in the washer over the course of a week.

6. FLUSH ALL TOILETS. If it’s yellow do you let it mellow? After a week in the pot, it’s no longer mellow. TRUST ME ON THIS.

7. Double check that you have everyone’s ID or birth certificate. Everything else you need can be bought at your destination if necessary. But you don’t want to remember that you forgot your lap child’s birth certificate halfway to the airport like I did.

So, yeah…more on my harebrained travelling adventures with 2 toddlers when the inspiration strikes. In the hopper: my thoughts on travelling with strollers/car seats. Travel-saavy friends, I’d love to discuss this further. Message me on FB if you feel like sharing your approach. TN, I’m looking at you ;)

What do you all think? Do you like using a stroller in the airport? Do you check it and use a baby carrier like the Ergo or something similar? Do you like to bring your carseat on the plane? Have you ever used CARES, which is what we’ve been using with Dags lately? Leave all of your pearls of wisdom in the comments.

 

64 Weeks Later aka 14.5 Months Later aka The Grand Finale

25 Mar

So this is what I looked like yesterday, on March 24th, 2012, 14.5 months after I gave birth to my second child. To put that into a bit of perspective, I was 5.5 months pregnant with Bode 14.5 months after I gave birth to Dagny. And I STILL weigh more than I did 9 months postpartum from giving birth to Dagny. So in my experience, it was definitely harder to lose the baby weight the second time around. I still cannot fit into certain pairs of jeans that I was wearing when I got pregnant with B. But I CAN fit into my favorite shorts, so I’m a happy camper.

So anyway, I got a makeover at the local Giant Eagle and figured it was therefore a good day to take pictures. It was also the worst day of my period and I “felt fat.” I have to say, I haven’t “felt fat” since I looked over the pictures. In fact, “mental image of me” was way worse that “IRL (in real life, for those of you non-internet types) me.” I think I look pretty good, but strangely I can’t stop thinking about liposuctioning my saddlebags. Which then leads me to thinking about a boob job and a tummy tuck. Sigh. I want smooth, round, melon-y boobs, what can I say? I would love a less shriveled, less wrinkley midsection, but then again a Frankenstein scar that extends hipbone to hipbone is a bit creepy. But let’s not talk about that. Or as Dagny would say, “Let’s not do that.”

What have I done since June 7th, 2011 when the last pictures were taken to assist in losing pregnancy weight gain? Well, I quit yoga about 6 months ago. About 3 months after that James and I joined the YMCA and started going to a 45 minute spin class twice a week. I bought 2 yoga blocks and 1 yoga blanket that have languished in the basement since I excitedly unwrapped them. I moved some hand weights up to the TV console and placed them next to my Bar Method dvds. And every night I hoped and hoped and hoped really hard that I would wake up refreshed and ready to exercise at 6am. I don’t really do much in the weigh (hello, Freudian slip) of “watching what I eat.” But I had several weeks where I was eating a lot of bakery treats. And then several subsequent weeks of planning our family meals to include a lot more fresh fruits, veggies and a lot less…cake and donuts. And this is what I have to show for all of that…

TA-DAAAAAAAAAA!

So what do you think? If you looked like this, would you wear a bikini this summer?

I'm not sucking in as much here and hopefully you can see that the shrivelly look is much less pronounced

Not a lot has changed here. Any purple or reddish color has faded from my stretch marks and I expect will continue to fade until it's pretty much white.

In this picture I am sucking in as hard as I can and trying to flex all my muscles in an attempt to look thinner, as well as resting my hands on my legs to hide my saddlebags. As you can see, it pretty much made ZERO difference, except that my lack of skin tone on my belly is more apparent.

I think this candid really shows how big my bathing suit (especially the bottom) has gotten, although it also makes me look thinner than I think I do IRL. The suit is pretty much falling off, and I even had to hold it up in some of the close-ups. I am very pleased, to say the least.

So yeah, did you notice the COMPLETE LACK of boobs. What is very ironic is that pre-pregnancy I was wearing a 34A/B and now I am wearing a 34 C. But they look and feel a lot smaller to me. The skin tone is totally shot beneath both breasts and looks a lot like my tummy. I did not get any new stretch marks on my breasts with the second pregnancy, but they did fall a bit more. All of the real damage was done during the first pregnancy. And I think the best way to describe that damage is with one word, and that word is…deflated.

Anyway, so that’s it. That’s the Grande Finale! As far as I’m concerned, Project Shrinky Dink has come full circle and by that I mean it has come to an end. I hope this has been enlightening for everyone who’s followed this series. It was crazy fun for me, mostly the high I’ve gotten from site views. And a bit creepy considering some of the search terms people used to land on these posts. And if there is an extremely skilled board-certified plastic surgeon out there who wants to sponsor a sequel series, which I like to think of as Free Mommy Makeover, you know, uh, email me?

Warning Flare

24 Mar

The next 1-3 posts are going to be shocking. I just want to throw that warning out there for y’all. Today we took a bunch of Project Shrinky Dink pictures as well as some close-ups of my hairy legs and pits. So that’s at least 2 posts. I also have some older Project Shrinky Dink pictures that I never posted…might throw those into the final update, might make a separate post.

Dagnyisms

26 Feb

I just want to document a few more little Dagnyisms, if I can remember them.

But first, tonight was a special night. I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon, but Dagny called out the not-so-kid-friendly lyrics of Rock-A-Bye-Baby tonight. I sang through it once, then offered to her that I would sing through again since it’s pretty short. As I’m coming up on the ol’e “when the bough breaks” line she starts saying, “The branches not will break, the branches not will break!”  I kept singing. She continues to disapprove, saying, “The cradles not will fall, the cradles not will fall!” Now she is getting a bit agitated. I finish up, “Down will come baby, cradle and all.” And she continues insisting that the branches not will break, the cradles not will fall and then adds in that the baby not will fall. Then she takes an extended pause and says…”That hurts people.” Mind officially blown, you guys. I was so proud of her, but also like, “What the hell do I tell her?!” So I went with something about the words are silly, they don’t make sense, do they? And I reassured her that the babies would not fall, the cradles would not fall and the branches would not break.

And with that, here are some Dagnyisms of late:

crutzel = pizza crust

coin money = dimes, quarters, nickels, pennies

dollar money = any paper currency

fanks/fank you = thanks/thank you

cat register = cash register

pump = blimp (she already says this correctly, but I never wrote it down)

I don’t likes it = I don’t like it

Let I do it, Let I see, etc = Let me do it, etc

What Bode dood, etc = What did Bode do, etc

And while I’m on the topic of her vocabulary. She spends a total of 45 minutes in the child watch room at the YMCA, twice a week. She has picked up some unsavory habits and words, and I am pretty sure they are all coming from the same kid, who is the only kid she names as her friend. Anyway, here are a couple things I’ve heard her trying out during imaginary play, as well as just jabbering and talking to herself under her breath:

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! (yelling)

Stupid Mama (under her breath while I was, indeed, doing something she wasn’t happy about)

It broke my heart. I’ve been fighting the urge to take her out of there or start going on different nights. This kind of thing is going to happen. It’s hard not to shelter her completely while I can. We are still trying to figure out how to approach this without making a big deal out of it. Might as well learn how to handle it now since it’s only going to get worse and worse. Other than that her play has become considerably more rough, especially with Bode. She tried biting him for the first time the other day. My sweet, innocent, little angel’s halo is flickering out. I just want to hide her away from the cruel world. Sigh.

2011 Recap-The Second Half

16 Feb

Find The First Half here.

FINALLY! I finished this freaking post! It took a long time going through all of our pictures and then trying to narrow down which ones to include. Next year…I mean THIS year I will try to post about our various exploits when they happen so I don’t have to combine a gazillion posts into a short (haha) year end review. Anyhow, hope your 2012 has started off nicely and best wishes for a happy rest of the year!

Don’t forget you can click on any photo to open it full size in a new browser window. Just click on the photo.

July

Without a doubt July is always our most jam-packed month of the year with travelling to Florida. This year was particularly crazy as my nephew and sister-in-law were in residence at my mom’s house for my youngest brother’s current deployment in Afghanistan. So there were 4 adults and 3 small children running amok at Chez Mom and it was nuts! But before we left PA, we threw an unexpectedly huge birthday bash for Dagny.  So huge (aka exhausting,) in fact, that I abandoned plans to do a Florida birthday party playdate. Once we got to the Sunshine State we got busy with visiting Casa Pineda, going to Weeki Wachee in a torrential downpour, going to the beach with my cousin from Detroit and his kids, trying out semi-private swim lessons, visiting the Florida Aquarium, and hanging with Aunt Ashley and Cousin Jake. We missed some fun stuff in PA like the annual neighborhood garage sale, so we might tweak our vacation time frame this year. We shall see! Looking at all these pictures has given me a bad case of I’M READY FOR SUMMER!

Bode Liked the Mermaids

Swim Lessons with Miss Delores

Cousins Playing in the Kiddie Pool

Getting adventurous at the Florida Aquarium

And they have a spray park at the Florida Aquarium too!

D & B's second cousins, Parker & Hunter (my cousin Michael's kids) at Indian Rocks Beach

Favorite Family Shot, wish it was in focus :(

August

I’m trying to remember just from reviewing pictures, but it looks like Bode maybe started to crawl around as well as pull up on various furniture around the August time frame. It also appears he started cruising along the couch or at least pulling up to stand. We ventured out to the local spray park with our friends Amy (awesome mama who lives up the street from us) and her son Joe (awesome little dude who Dagny plays really well with.) We had loads of fun although I was spread a little thin between the kids. And I’m ashamed to admit we haven’t done very much else socially (in terms of the kids) with them (or anyone else for that matter) since. One sad fact of having 2 kids in 2 years is that it’s incredibly hard to juggle them both at playdates. While other moms are socializing, I’ve got one kid I’m trying to prevent from electrocuting himself and another I’m trying to keep from breaking anything. Good times. I’m sure there will come a time when it’s a bit less stressful, but I can’t see the light at the end of that tunnel yet. And last, but nowhere near least we went to KENNYWOOD! And Dagny has mentioned Kennywood at least 3 or 4 times a week since then. Seriously. She mentions it several times a week.

TEA PARTY!

Fun at the spray park with our neighbor.

My joyful little dancer

One of the best image captures of the year!

Dagny has started expressing an interest in make-up :/

Sibling Love!

Kiddieland Motorcylces at Kennywood

Family Picnic Lunch at Kennywood

Baby Jogger City Select, for the win!

Watching Dagny ride the swings!

How can I not put in a picture of the bear trashcan?! This is reliably named as her favorite thing about Kennywood almost every time we ask.

A favorite thing to do in the summer...this year Bode will be big enough to take some turns!

Ah, that fuzzy, smiley, little head.

Believe me when I say, I exercised as much restraint as humanly possible when selecting this limited amount of photos from my August photo folder.

September

We went to the 7th Street Sportsmans’ Club Picnic. That was interesting this year. Dagny was not as enthusiastic about the corn on the cob, and it truly was not very good this year. She had fun looking for money in the sawdust pile and choosing a temporary tattoo. We rode the little “train” truck, which scared the living daylights out of me. Another interesting thing happened in September. I stopped uploading all my pictures to Facebook and for a while I stopped taking many pictures at all. And to this day (now it’s February) I am still not taking very many photos on a daily basis like I used to. There are a lot of contributing factors, I’m sure but one in particular struck a chord with me. I’m not really sure how or if I’ll continue sharing our life with the people who care about it as time marches on. But for now it is what it is.

Next year we will be bringing our own helmets.

Watching the trees for the front yard getting delivered.

October

In October we took advantage of RADical Days at the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, which is currently our favorite place of all the places we’ve checked out with the kids. Which is basically just the Carnegie Science Center, the Carnegie Natural History Museum and the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh. It is AWESOME! The Science Center is a close second, but is better suited to slightly older kiddos. So yeah, we got in for FREE since it was RADical Days, but it was incredibly busy and jam-packed with people. Which means I was stressed beyond my capacity. One time when I was little…definitely under 8 years old…my mom had us at Sears and I was running off like kids do and she scared the living hell out of me by telling me that a store like that was where Adam Walsh was kidnapped and all they ever found was his head. I’m pretty sure she probably has no recollection of ever doing that. BUT I DO. And that fear is still with me when I take my kids ANYWHERE outside the house. So, although I don’t look it, I am an internal wreck if I don’t have both kids tethered down and/or in my line of sight at all times in public. But where were we…October…right. So we also took a trip to Colorado, wherein Dagny made the big switch to a big girl bed and I got my hair cut (fixed) by my beloved stylist, Monica. Upon returning home, I gave Dagny her very first haircut and tucked the first fallen lock into her baby book. After that the big news was the first snowfall, which yielded a pretty nice snowman which stayed fairly well intact for Halloween. Dagny dressed up as The Cat in The Hat and Bode was an adorable little monkey.  Looks like I never posted about Halloween. We did the neighborhood parade, which is one of my favorite annual events. Then we went for a brief trick-or-treat as it was very cold outside. Dags had a blast until her fingers and toes started to hurt. So we went home and handed out more candy. Somewhere in the midst of all that fun, Bode started walking and he hasnt slowed down since!

Dagny's First Sleep in a BIG Bed

RADical Days at the Children's Museum of Pittsburgh

Dagny's first try with chopsticks at Noodles & Co in Broomfield, CO!

Dagny's First Haircut! I did it myself and I think it looks adorable!

Our first snow, and our first snow man :)

Trick or Treating with my little Cat in the Hat

Our Life <3

November

The fact that I never posted about Halloween might have been a tip off, but somewhere between August and December I lost my way. Depression took me down hard. I quit yoga. Lots of napping and going through the motions like a robot. There isn’t much to write about as a result. I think it all sort of came to a head in November, which is good because I think things have been slowing looking up ever since. We joined the YMCA and started going to Spin classes twice a week. Then we spent the month battling the falling leaves, which was a great boon to the kids. They had so much fun running through the piles and getting buried and throwing toys into the pile. Of course, November is when Thanksgiving happens and we had a lovely one this year. I honestly can’t remember who’s house we were at, but I think it was Lauren & Dave’s. Or it could have been Jim & Jamie’s. I didn’t take a single picture so now we’ll never know.

Dagny is now well-versed in "licking the beaters." As well as licking the spoons, spatulas and bow

The never-ending pile of leaves! We STILL have leaves piled against the fence right now...in FEBRUARY. I don't know where they come from!

 December

We got to go to the Children’s Museum again for a Christmas Party! The month of December is a blur up here in PA. There are parties and festivities and putting up decorations during every free moment. Every weekend there is something to see or do. And this year we were blessed with a visit from my brother, Matt and his (now) fiancee, Rachel. I hadn’t seen Matt in at least 2 years, so this was a very special even for me, probably what finally pulled me out of the funk I was stuck in. We cleaned the house and organized the basement and set up a little basement guest area (of which I am very proud.) They slept a lot and we never even managed to open the bottle of Caduceus we ordered just for the occasion.  We did manage to get them to Primanti’s, Pamela’s and the Dusquesne Incline. Speaking of the incline…it made a huge impression on Dagny. She mentions it almost weekly, just like Kennywood. And ironically she just came down the stairs hollering, “I’m going to the incline!” Weird. Maybe she has ESP. Gah! We also went to the Shriner’s Christmas celebration as a guest of our neighbor, Glenn…who also gave us a huge artificial Christmas tree. And it turned out that for a week or so in December, right before Matt came to visit, Tom Cruise was in OUR TOWN, literally a few hundred yards away from OUR HOUSE, filming some action movie. Word is, they were shooting inside this run down warehouse looking building called the Allegheny River Terminal. A building that drive by almost daily, and every time think to myself what a great movie set it would make. My good taste has been confirmed. Ha. Apparently Tom was seen in Parnassus, just down the hill from our house, and at Fox’s Pizza in downtown New Ken/Arnold. While I’m not a crazy Tom Cruise fan, it was pretty crazy to think of him walking around in our town like that. Anyway, we capped off the month with one of Kelly’s soccer games. Dagny loooooooved it. It was an indoor game and the field had see-through walls around it. She would run along the wall with the girls, following the ball. One time the ball came right to the wall and she about lost it with excitement. It makes me smile, just thinking about it.

The trailers that were parked by the marina during the Tom Cruise thing.

The building Tom Cruise & company were allegedly filming in...with some big light things outside.

Snow Siblings

Matt & Rachel gave the kids an early Christmas.

We took Matt & Rachel to Pamela's in the strip district.

We rode the Dusquesne Incline with Matt & Rachel. Dagny hasn't stopped talking about it since.

Matt took this awesome shot of Pittsburgh's golden triangle from the viewing deck at the Dusquesne Incline.

Well, so that was our year. I’m sure there were things I left out, but hey, these are just the highlights. This year I’ll try to do a better job with posting. In fact, I think I already am. Lots of pictures going up. I try not to do to much but I guess there’s really no point in worrying. So yeah, I’m just going to do what I do and if you like it keep coming back. If not…well, I guess I’ll carry on without you.

Love, Carly

XOXO

Frozen Broccoli…Roasted to Deliciousness

6 Feb

Here’s how mine turned out.

There are a lot of recipes out there that turn fresh broccoli into a delicious, special treat that I like to call…roasted broccoli. Most of them are not really frozen-broccoli-friendly as written. Here are a couple links to some recipes that inspired my own:

Barefoot Contessa, aka Ina Garten’s Roasted Broccoli

Alton Brown’s Roasted Broccoli

I didn’t have fresh broccoli on hand and I rarely do. However, I ALWAYS have frozen broccoli florets on hand. So, here goes my first attempt at a recipe. Please realize that every ingredient except the broccoli and the oil is pretty much to taste. Change or omit the cheeses, omit the garlic, use crushed croutons or corn flakes instead of bread crumbs. Add toasted almonds. Add lemon zest. The world is your oyster.

I’ll apologize in advance for not having pictures. (Update! I added pictures as you can hopefully see. The pictures were taken on March 7 according to the file info, I added them on May 3) I had no plans to make a post like this until some friends requested it on Facebook. Nor do I plan to start churning out recipe posts, as I find them somewhat boring. OK, that being said…

Ingredients:

1 lb FROZEN Broccoli Florets

1 T Minced Garlic, or to taste

1/2 t Salt

1/4 Cup Bread Crumbs (or anything small and crunchy)

Optional 1 T Nutritional Yeast

1-2 T Parmesano Reggiano Cheese, Grated with a Microplane (or whatever cheese and grater you have on hand)

1-2 T Gruyere Cheese, Grated with a Microplane (or whatever cheese and grater you have on hand)

2-4 T Olive Oil (or whatever liquid oil you have on hand)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 425 F.
  2. Dump the frozen broccoli into a large bowl. Remove any large chunks of ice. Don’t worry about the broccoli crumbs, they are going to turn into the best part.
  3. Sprinkle everything else EXCEPT THE OIL on top. Stir it around a bit to coat the broccoli and mix everything together.
  4. Drizzle SOME (such as 2 T) of the oil on the broccoli mixture and stir or toss it to coat. The goal here is to get a thin layer of oil covering most of the broccoli. Take a look at what you’ve made and if it seems a bit dry of oil, drizzle on the rest and toss or stir again. If it still seems dry, don’t worry, just press on and trust the process.
  5. Pour that onto a greased (sprayed with Pam or the like) cookie sheet. I line with greased (sprayed with Pam or the like) foil, but if you like washing your cookie sheet, don’t bother with the foil. Sometimes I don’t even bother with the cookie sheet and just lay the foil on the oven rack. You could use a cake pan, or a casserole dish. Do what you will to contain the broccoli. The world will not end if you don’t choose the right pan. Unless you choose tupperware. That is a BAD idea. If you don’t know why, forget about cooking, go to a restaurant.
  6. You can take some of those crumbs and pile them on top of any broccoli pieces that didn’t seem to get coated with very much of the goodies.
  7. Bake (aka roast) for 15 minutes or so then move the broccoli around on the pan. If you have some pieces that are getting pretty brown turn those over. Personally I try to turn over as many pieces as I can.  Bake for another 15 minutes or until they are a nice golden to dark brown on the tips.
  8. Try not to devour the entire pan before serving immediately, if at all possible.

Notes:

If you have never tried the cheeses I suggested, go out on a limb some day and try them. They are pricey. Very pricey. For a long time I never managed to use up the cheese I bought and ended up throwing away a lot of money. Then one day I said screw it and put my leftover fancy cheese in the freezer. I’ve done this with parmesano reggiano, gruyere, sarvecchio parmesan, and fontina. I expect it will work with any of the really hard cheeses.  It has kept just fine in the freezer and actually makes grating with microplane easier (except for the sarvecchio, which defies grating whether frozen or not.)

Dagny scarfed these broccoli up like a vacuum cleaner once I convinced her to take “just one” bite, although she’s partial to the florets and avoids the stems at all costs regardless of the preparation. James also raved about them. Even Bode managed to get some down the hatch before he decided they looked better on the floor. For my part, I ate my helping plus the mangled leavings of my children.

Proof it went into her mouth!

She even went back for more!

More proof it went into her mouth ;)

Down the hatch!

Proof! ;)

Pooptastic Good Times!

18 May

So there we were, me out of clean diapers and Bode up to his armpits in poop. Thank goodness I realized what was going on before the poop soaked clear through his clothes and into my nice, new, white-beige carpet. Sigh. This kid has a butt crack that was divinely designed to launch poop right out of a diaper, be it cloth or paper. As in… We. Have. Liftoff.

I managed to get him stripped down without spreading too much of it around and without getting any in his hair. Score!

Lucky thing I like to carry an old ratty diaper around for use as a burp cloth. I wrapped his little tooshie in the burp cloth diaper and proceeded to give him a wet-wipe sponge bath. A final sniff to make sure he was clean and voila! Today may now proceed…

I’m One of Those People

14 May

Well, today I did something rather uncouth. I changed my son’s poopy diaper on the floor in the clothing department in Target. Let me paint you a picture of how this went down. Both of my kids are pretty much out of clothes to wear. Everything is either too small or too hot to wear in these Spring temperatures. I took both kids to Target this morning. We stopped to run an errand on the way so by the time we arrived it was lunchtime. Also, Dagny had to pee. Have I mentioned we went cold turkey on diapers about a week ago? Yeah. So when she says, “Pee pee” I say, “How high?” Or something like that. We visited the family restroom. Thank you Target in Harmar for providing a family restroom, I love you guys for that! Next up, the snack bar. We ate lunch and made friends with another little family sitting nearby. Finally, around 30 minutes after we arrived we managed to actually start shopping. We cut through the $1 Spot or whatever they call it and then beelined for the kids clothes. Clearance signs were everywhere and my head was spinning. I had Dagny on a leash that was tied to the stroller so she could walk. As I perused the sale racks as best I could given the circumstances, she methodically removed clothing from any rack she could get her hands on. And threw them on the floor. Approximately every 10 seconds she would start fussing, whining, crying, whatever you want to call it because she had either thrown her ball out of range or she wanted off the leash. I was finding it incredibly hard to concentrate because at the same time, Bode was squealing. Then it happened. I heard the telltale rumble-squirting that means it’s time for another trip to the potty. Argh! I had just gotten to the damned clothes department! I started whipping through the clothes as fast as I could. Almost as if it was a competition, Dagny stepped up her game with the removing clothes and throwing them on the floor. She also started shoving random clothes into the stroller basket. Somewhere in the midst of replacing the clothes, I completely forgot Bode had just dropped the atom bomb in his pants. Suddenly he was on pace for a complete meltdown at any given moment and I remembered! SON OF A…! So I said screw it. I laid him out on the floor and changed his diaper, using up the last 3 wet wipes I had in the diaper bag. Meanwhile some lady is trying to lean around my stroller to get to the clearance rack I’ve take up residence next to and Dagny is removing clothes from hangers like it’s her job. I get Bode put back together and some how finagle Dagny into riding in the stroller. At this point I realize we need to head home because it’s pretty much naptime and I’m entering the danger zone. So I race around, throwing items willy nilly into the basket. Finally we’re out of there and I’ve been watching Dags because she’s on the brink of falling asleep in the stroller.We make it to the car before she nods off (WIN!) and I lift her up to put her in the car seat. She is soaked. Poor kiddo was covered in pee. She was too tired to tell me she had to go, I imagine and just emptied her bladder in the stroller seat. The $200 stroller seat. Deep breaths. DEEP BREATHS. I changed her into some clean panties right there in the parking lot but unfortunately I had no replacement shirt. She was in a dress and all I had in the diaper bag were a pair of jeans. So I folded up her dress, plopped her in the car seat, and off we went. She fell asleep on the way home, which means there’s a 50-50 chance that naptime is a bust. I managed to get her home, carry her to bed and even get a diaper over her panties without her waking up. I’m thinking to myself that I’m home free, so I go downstairs to get Bode ready for HIS nap. I get everything unloaded from the car and the cold stuff put away. I take Bode upstairs, zip him into the woombie and settle in to the rocking chair to nurse him. Just as he starts to nod off Dagny starts wailing in her room. At this point I’m pretty sure Bode is asleep but it’s likely he’ll wake right up if I detach him from the boob and try to lay him down. Dags is escalating so I take a chance. He seems OK so I go into her room and she’s a freaking mess. She won’t even let me touch her and she is crying hard. Finally I just scoop her up and try to get her to come back to reality. Her diaper is wet. I take it off and she’s still sobbing and shaking. At this point I’m starting to freak out. Did a bug crawl in her ear? Did a deadly spider bite her somewhere? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER!? So I just start grilling her. Do you have to go potty? Do you have an owie? Are you scared? Do you have an owie? Do something hurt? What happened? Do you have an owie? Are you hungry? DING DING DING. She says yes. She wants milk. At this point, I know I have to calm her down because we have to walk right past Bode’s room and in her hysterical state there’s no way he was sleeping through that. So I start talking to her about different kinds of food and any time I mention something other than milk she starts spiraling back into hysterics. This kid is a wreck. I need to get her the damned milk. So I just walk as fast as I can past Bode’s room and down the stairs. Right about the time I’m handing her a donut hole I hear Bode start to cry…

So you’re thinking about having a second baby are ya? ;) I give you 4 months before you’re changing his or her diaper on the floor in the middle of Target.

Permanent Sterilization

11 Apr

No witty title today, just BAM! It’s been on my mind since I got rejected for the IUD. I went to the doctor last week in hopes of having a Mirena placed. I was relieved to put off any permanent commitments. I don’t do very well with permanent. In fact, when I think of any of the huge commitments I’ve made in my life, namely getting tattooed and buying a house, they all have an “out.” How ridiculous is it that a grown woman can’t commit to anything permanent.

Here’s the thing. I’ve been around and sane (as in not a teenager) long enough now to realize that no matter how convinced I am of something, I will likely change my mind about it a million times. So even though I am 100% sure right now that I don’t want to endure another pregnancy, that doesn’t mean I won’t change my mind later. I also realize that my passing whims are not always best to act upon. So even though I now realize that I can love more than one child with equal ferocity, and I am greedy and would like more little loves, kind of like I wanted more Barbies when I was little…that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

In fact, what it comes down to is priorities. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have an undying dream to travel the world with my kids. I want to show them the 7 Wonders of the World. I want them to see Notre Dame, live and in person. I want to send them to the bird man in front of Notre Dame with coins clutched in their tiny hands to buy bread crumbs for the birds. My dream is shared and supported by my husband. We have a real plan to make that happen. We know for a fact that we will never be able to afford to do it if we add another child to our family. We want to provide a certain type of lifestyle for our kids and maintaining a lifestyle costs money. We’re not rolling in the cash, so we have to have a plan. Sure, we might someday win the lottery…but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s not an effective strategy for meeting our longterm goals.

Are those beautiful dreams more beautiful than discovering two more distinct personalities and nurturing them within the confines of Pennsylvania? I don’t know. I mean I could go into some really crazy stuff. I don’t believe anything in particular about the afterlife and quite frankly it scares me to think of what will happen to my consciousness after I die. I take these decisions very seriously. We are only granted so much time in this life and to be even more ominous, we have no idea when that time is going to be cut short. Even if I believed in God and Heaven in the traditional sense of those words, there’s nothing in there about second and third chances to live the life you always dreamed about. Which is the right choice? What experiences do I have to forfeit in order to purchase my dreams? It’s really hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I cannot have both. BUT…and this may be the lesson here…if I wait too long to commit, I will have lost both options. I don’t want to one day wake up and realize I wasted the best years of my life waffling over what to do with it.

But back to the topic at hand. I went in to get my Mirena and when they measured the length of my uterus it was too long. That means if they placed it, there’s no guarantee it would even work and it could migrate into a fallopian tube or perforate my uterine walls. They offered me the pill but I don’t really want to put hormones in my body that will pass into my breastmilk. Just my personal choice. So that leaves barrier methods. I don’t want to depend on the incredibly not-confidence-inspiring reliability of those. So now I’ve been turned back toward my original plan, which was to have the Essure procedure shortly after having Bode. I chickened out and went for the Mirena first. But I guess “fate” wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily.

I had a nice talk about all this with my mom and she gave me even more things to ponder. What heredity has in store for me and the potential to avoid major surgery later in life, among other things.

I think no matter what I choose, I will always mourn what might have been. And in truth, I believe I have already made my decision but I’m still trying to be comfortable with it. The maybe’s and what-if’s won’t let me have my peace.

UPDATE: There is another procedure similar to Essure that’s called Adiana. I’m looking into that now. So far my research is not instilling very much confidence in Essure.

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