Crazy Hairy Hippie Legs

2 Apr

So far I’ve only really mentioned this in passing, right? I am, in fact, currently working on one of my Bomb List items. I am growing out my leg hair. And my armpit hair. I started around the first of the year, definitely some time in the first half of January. I just…got curious. Last year, I had to grow out my bikini mane so I could have it properly waxed and I think that might have planted a little seed of possibility in my mind regarding the legs. I’ve tried to do this before and failed miserably. It was years ago, I was single at the time and I may have overdone the natural approach. I stopped shaving and decided to forgo wearing a bra for several weeks. The shaving moratorium lasted less than a week, if I remember correctly. This time around I am more determined, obviously.

They definitely look like man legs, whatever that really means considering this is how God made me, and I am a woman. I have now been through 3 distinct phases of stubble. The initial one was the hardest, I think. But the second one caught me off guard. About 3 weeks after the initial itchy, prickly, crazy-making phase of growth I went through a second itchy, prickly, crazy-making phase. And then about 3 weeks after that, I had another one and I’m just now recovering from that one. I knew there were phases of hair growth and stuff, but I just didn’t put it all together that this would be an ordeal that would last weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. Some hairs are like an inch long, others are barely poking out from my skin. I don’t know how many more of these I will go through before all of my follicles will be grown out, but I hope it is none!

I figure I’ll give it until June. At that point I’m not really sure what I’ll do. I really like not having to shave. However I don’t like feeling self-conscious during spin class and sexy time. Speaking of sexy time, my husband is an incredibly accommodating supporter of mine. I get no flack from him about the hair. He almost seems as curious as me to see how it all turns out. Maybe I will just let them be natural until my kids start to get embarrassed by them. Maybe I’ll start waxing them. Maybe I’ll go back to shaving, although I find it to be somewhat futile.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! My armpits!!! So those grew out really fast and with no itching or discomfort at any point. The hair is fairly soft and I honestly forget it’s there until I catch a random glimpse of it in the mirror. It’s going to sound weird but I feel like having the hair grown out makes me sweat less under my arms. And I also think it might be less stinky, but that is debatable. I definitely take extra care to really scrub under my arms with it being grown out and I actually use shampoo on the hair under there. I think I will probably give up shaving my underarms for the foreseeable future. However, I think I will take up trimming it from time to time. It is barely noticeable from afar (I think,) even as long as it is, thanks to my fair complexion. I think if I trim it, there will be less of a shock factor when tank top season finally arrives.

So anyway…I had James take some pictures and I tried to wear something…distracting. Partly to see if the distraction would work and partly because I find the dichotomy amusing.

My new alias is Harriet Pitts.

My hairy man legs. Damn those are sexy shoes.

Remember that scene in True Lies where Jamie Lee Curtis is posing as an escort and trying to be all sexy. That is pretty much how this all went down and here is the proof. James was saying ridiculous things like, "Pretend you're a cat rubbing against the wall..." And I was laughing so hard I was crying.

3 Responses to “Crazy Hairy Hippie Legs”

  1. Susan April 2, 2012 at 4:42 PM #

    I love and respect your ability to buck what society says to do. I also am jelous of the light colored hair. If I tried to do this I would look like a grizzley bear.

  2. thedalimama April 3, 2012 at 9:09 PM #

    Ha HA HA HA HA HA….. you had to go months to look like that????!!! Shit girl… give me 3 DAYS and my hair is man-ish and off the hook. LOL . Good for you though. My leg hair is almost always at least an inch long… the arm pit hair is another thing…. ahhhh- I just can’t let it go. It freaks me out a bit. But, the legs? Well- you’d be catching me on a very odd day if you found them shaved seeing as how I barely have time to shower let alone shave. Now everyone knows why I always wear jeans- even in the summer. hee hee

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