Archive | August, 2011

The Brazilian Wax

5 Aug

Well, without further ado, then… So I went through with it. I got a Brazilian wax right after I got to Florida and woo boy, it’s awesome! After it was done. AFTER it was done. You’re probably about to get the wrong idea about me but whatever, it adds to the mystique, right?

I arrive and I’ll go ahead and say it…I was hoping for something a little more fancy looking in the way of a “day spa.” That’s what you get for buying sight-unseen off of Groupon. But I comforted myself in the knowledge that my waxer was formerly a nurse.Everything was clean, just not ritzy.

So she got right to it and you know what was very telling? The mere application of the wax was pulling at hairs in an unpleasant way. I was a bit freaked out by that. It was VERY sticky…and warm. Warm feels like HOT when it gets really close in to your sensitive bits, even though it’s not. So it wasn’t that bad as she ripped off the first strip. Sure it hurt, and yes it burned a bit after the hair was all ripped out but that all subsided within seconds. I don’t know about everyone else but I can endure all kinds of discomfort if I know it will subside within seconds. And so we continued. The removal of large patches of hair smarts more and more as you move to the, uh, center line of the bikini area. One thing I was unsure of was how much hair would be removed, uh, around back. Turns out, not all of it. I’m not sure why and I didn’t have the balls to ask. I’m guessing that it might not be totally safe to wax right up to your corn hole. I wasn’t too concerned about it because that area doesn’t really see the light of day. Not that my front does either…but it does see the bathroom light every night when I shower. Another interesting thing to note…I had no idea that some hairs would hang behind and require plucking. Not fun. Plucking on the mons is not a big deal…plucking on the folds is a BIG DEAL. Which is why I think my waxer left some strays in that area. Just a few, nothing that made me think she hadn’t given me my money’s worth. In the end I was OK with that because you know what?

SMOOTH. I haven’t been that smooth since like…a long time ago. It was as if puberty had never happened. Completely smoooooooth and silky. Like all those strippers. Now I know how they get so smooth! And in my usually shaved opinion, totally and completely worth it. No amount of baby oil, lotion, and razor combination can achieve the smoothness that getting waxed did. And it lasted for several days in that condition. Several days. People I usually shave every night.

Then some hair started growing back in and that was the most uncomfortable feeling in the whole process. I was instructed to use a scrubby glove every time I showered to exfoliate the area and prevent ingrown hairs. Three weeks hence and I haven’t had any big problems with ingrown hairs. I have plucked a few that were curling back under and threatening to become ingrown. I have quite a bit of regrowth but nothing like what I started with. I’m ready to go have another wax. I’m not sure how often it would need to be done but it’s looking like 3-4 weeks, which I’m somewhat disappointed with. I was hoping it would last for months. Hahaha. It’s looking like subsequent waxes will be considerably easier though, since there isn’t nearly as much hair.

My final thought: if you have ever wanted to try one, DO IT. I don’t think you will be disappointed.

Daddy’s Girl

5 Aug

Every night now James turns out the light and turns on the Twilight Ladybug from Dash (my brother Dan & his wife Ashley) and Jake before he puts Dagny into her bed. She always gets to touch the moon and Dada puts some stars in her pocket. Then he takes them back out and shows them to her. Last night after he came out of the room he told me he convinced her to leave the stars in her pocket. Then today she was standing in the kitchen and looked down at her pocket and said, “Stars in there, Dada put ‘em in there.” She melts my heart. And so does he.

Bode & Dagny

Bode & James

Just A Few Things I Never Want to Forget

2 Aug

Buh beh? (What’s that?)

Banklie and Banklet (Blanket)

Lem-o-made (Lemonade)

Mo-nee-nee (Macaroni)

…there were so many more that are lost for all time because I didn’t write them down!

There’s a Few Things Bugging Me About Last Friday Night (by Katy Perry)

1 Aug

Look, if it was “a blacked out blur” I can almost guarantee that it didn’t “rule.” It was probably more drool to borrow from the ol’e saying. As in, you, drooling on the floor of some strange bathroom. Usually those are the kind of pictures that end up online.

You think we kissed but you forgot? Later on there is mention of menage a trois? Um…someone is confused here. And furthermore…that saying two’s company, three’s a crowd? It’s true. So if three’s a crowd, what’s four? The beginning of many years of therapy.

So yeah, this song drives me nuts. It glorifies binge drinking to the point of blacking out, and as someone who has struggled with that…someone who has a lot of shame as a result…someone who knows a teeny bit about what’s going on in the mind of a blackout drunk before that first shot is tossed back…there is not usually anything good or cool about it. And yet I find myself bobbing my head and singing along. ARGH!

It’s a catchy tune and it’s fun to sing about maxing out your credit cards, getting your car towed and waking up next to a stranger…but in real life, that morning after is the beginning of a really, really, really bad day…week…month… And all the scalding hot showers in the world can’t wash away the memories that the alcohol didn’t.

I know I promised a post on the brazilian…I’m hoping to share that with you later in the week. And yes, it hurt. Badly.


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